Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
