I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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