Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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