All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
