I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
