you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
