I hope mine doesn't look like that
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
