I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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