please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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