The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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