i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
