and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm too high and old for this...
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
