im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
