How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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