I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
