Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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