But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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