we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
