worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
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He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
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I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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