So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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