READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
