i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
