god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
