they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
