how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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