All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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