super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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