I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
