just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
