alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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