He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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