Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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