Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize