so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
