with your own penis?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she peed on how many people?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
