I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
