Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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