I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I have tasted many bathrooms
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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