we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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