Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
