ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
