census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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