hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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