Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
