My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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