No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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