Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize