So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
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