it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
