yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
