He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We're too hungover to prance.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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