I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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