Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
if only i could text you this smell
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
worst night to have a conscience
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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