yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Is it because I queefed?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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