the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
