She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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