so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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