But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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