Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
