i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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