what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
