you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
