Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
