she was so not down for the gang bang
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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