What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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