Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
